WhimsicalLL

 - Lew's?

 - Lou's.

 - Loos?!

 - Lose!!!

 - ?!?

Vagyis értjük egymást.  Ez a jelenség mindennapos, és savát-borsát adja az élő beszédnak - a jó öreg homophones. A majdnem mindig vicces kommunikációs zűrzavar, ami nélkül unalmas volna a társalgás.

Once upon a time, somewhere in Europe, a family with three sons lived on a farm. As the farm was too small to support all of them, and the parents were not yet ready to retire, the sons decided to emigrate to South America, where they bought a ranch and raised beef cattle. Question: So what did they call their ranch?
Answer: They called it "Focus", because that's where the sun's rays meet (sons raise meat). Akinek van idevágó kedvenc szituja, jöhet kommentben!

Amivel pedig mindig szolgálhatok, a listák:

American homophones


British homophones

Australian homophones

Jó bogarászást, és búcsúzóul még néhány finomság:
 

Surely you can do something!
I can, but don't call me Shirley!

What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.

What illness do retired pilots get?
Flu.

Update: Mivel mostanra már mindenki kellett, hogy végezzen a reggeli röpdogával, jöjjön néhény okosság, csak mer'.

Fools and Foolishness

Bible, Proverbs 26:4–5
Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.

William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.

Nicolas Boileau, L'Art poétique
A fool always finds a bigger fool to admire him.

Cato the Elder, quoted in Plutarch's Parallel Lives
Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise.

William Cowper, “Conversation”
A fool must now and then be right, by chance.

George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum
None is a fool always, everyone sometimes.

Ben Jonson, The Alchemist
Fortune, that favors fools.[John Gay wrote in his Fables: Tis a gross error held in schools, That Fortune always favors fools.]

Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl
The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

Shakespeare, As You Like It
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.

Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream
Lord, what fools these mortals be![Seneca had made exactly the same observation in his Epistulae ad Lucilium.]

Mark Twain, Following the Equator, “Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar”
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.And last but not least,

The Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time

A Really Tough Final Exam

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time Limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

1) H I S T O R Y
Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.

2) M E D I C I N E
You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

3) P U B L I C S P E A K I N G
Twenty-five hundred riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

4) B I O L O G Y
Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

5) M U S I C
Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

6) P S Y C H O L O G Y
Based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisiac, Rameses II, Gregory of Nicaea, and Hammurapi. Support your evaluations with quotations from each mans work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.
 

7) S O C I O L O G Y
Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

8) M A N A G E M E N T S C I E N C E
Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

9) E N G I N E E R I N G
The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box onyour desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

10) E C O N O M I C S
Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

11) P O L I T I C A L S C I E N C E
There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

12) E P I S T E M O L O G Y
Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

13) P H Y S I C S
Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

14) P H I L O S O P H Y
Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

15) G E N E R A L K N O W L E D G E
Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

* * E X T R A C R E D I T * *

Define the universe; give three examples.
 

Namost ez nem vicc ám. Nemám. Mingyá' mék oszt ellenőrizem úgy, hogy meg se tuggyátok. Nacsakvárjatokcsak, iskolakerülő banda.

As an example of the difficulty SAE speakers may have in understanding BE discourse, consider the following dialogue at a social gathering, where three young African-American women are talking about the men in the room. The conversation proceeds as follows:

• S'up Girl?
• 'Sap ‘nin?
• Dis Party Be Krunk.
• Check Out Homes!
• Yo, Bling Bling?
• Iced Out For Days!
• Gimmie The 411. He Thuggin?
• Naw, He Cool!
• Yeah, He Packin'
• Word! Steppin' Crip,Def
• An' He Heavy In Class
• Off The Damn Chain (Laughter)
• Who Dat Brutha? (Looking At Another Man)
• A Scrub; He Nuttin'
• Word?
• He Be Doin' Wet.
• Tha's Wack!
• An' He All-Uh-Time Be Blowin' Yo' Spot.
• I Hear That.
• Word!

 A 'translation' into standard English might be as follows:
 

What's Up, Girlfriend?
What's Happening?
This Party Is Exciting, “up”! Hot!
Look, A Local Guy
Hey, You Mean The Guy Wearing Shining Jewelry?
He Wears A Lot Of Diamond Jewelry
Tell Me About Him. Is He A Thug?
No, He Looks 'together'
Yes, He Is Well-Endowed
Good! He Sure Can Dance The 'crip.'
And He's Smart In School
Amazing! Breathtaking!
Who's That Guy?
A Bum; He's A Good-For-Nothing
Why?
He Smokes Marijuana Laced With PCP And Embalming Fluid
That's Not Good; That's Out Of It
And He's Always Revealing Your Personal Business In Public. He Can't Keep A Secret.
Oh, Yes
Really! Forget About Him!
Ez persze csak akkor érdekes, ha vagy ilyen filmet elemezgetünk, vagy ide készülünk rezidenskedni, vagy innen jöttünk (menekültünk, stb), illetve ha a munkánk során belefutunk ebbe a szubkultúrába. Vagy ezer másik okból. :D

Internet Anagram Server = Isn't rearrangement rave?

Újabb játék a szavakkal:
Dormitory = Dirty Room
Dictionary = Indicatory
Schoolmaster = The classroom
Elvis = Lives
Listen = Silent
Madam Curie = Radium came
A telephone girl = Repeating "Hello"
Western Union = No Wire Unsent
The country side = No City Dust Here
Astronomers = Moon starers / No more stars
A telescope = To see place
The eyes = They see
The cockroach = Cook, catch her

Ha még többet szeretnél, kattints ide.

A listából bedobhatsz párat bemelegítésként az órán, vagy akár házinak is. Ki tudja a legtöbbet/legviccesebbet/stb kihozni az anagrammából.

A feladattípus kombinálható ezzel.

Az örök kedvenc:

A Wyoming cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Soon he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a consultant for the GOVERNMENT." says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know didley about cows...

Now give me back my dog."

Telling Stories - Sequencing Your Ideas

Possible situations in which you can tell a story:
• Talking about your past to a friend
• Giving details about something that happened during a job interview
• Relating information about your family to your children
• Telling colleagues about what happened on a business trip

In each of these situations - and many others - you provide information about something that happened in the past. In order to help your audience understand, you need to link these ideas together. One of the most important ways to link ideas is to sequence them. Sequencing refers to the order in which events happened. These are some of the most common ways to sequence in writing or speaking:

Beginning:
Firstly,
First of all,
To start off with,
Initially,
Examples:
Firstly, I began my education in Kisümögpuszta-alsó.
First of all, I opened the cupboard.
To start off with, we decided our destination was Jászárokszállás.
Initially, I thought it was a bad idea, ...

Mivel úgy látszik, még mindig szenved a tisztel társaság azt illetően, hogy M. Sándorka zsengekorú tanuló vajha miféle körmönfont módon is volna reábírható egy kis csevejre L2 témakörben, folyatódjék a saga, mert a rendelkezésre álló ötlettár nagy, Sándorka viszont kicsit feszült...

Azért csak keep it up!

201) Name your favorite game or sport and explain why you find it enjoyable.
202) What should a college athlete consider in deciding whether to turn professional or to remain in college?
203) Athletic programs at some colleges are big business. Discuss the advantages and/or disadvantages of this situation.
204) Discuss how student evaluations of faculty could be used by administrators, faculty, and/or students.
205) Partners in marriage often write their own detailed marriage contracts, covering such matters as the number of children they wish to have and the management of money. Would you write such a contract? Explain why or why not.


Itt az idő, hogy nézzünk néhány instant feladatot, lehetőleg minél szélesebb felhasználási körben, illetve minél több témában.

Természetesen várom az (aktuális) témajavaslatokat is, főleg azoktól, akik aktívan nyögnek a közalkalmazotti bértáblában, vagy egyéb insztitúcióban étkezik vala a tanárok keserű kenyerét.

Ezek legtöbbje persze nem felnőttoktatáshoz való,amiben ugye sokan utaznak, hanem kifejezetten általános iskolai órákhoz.

Tehát a témák, ahol a szóra kattintva szabadon sokszorosítható feladatlapoknak kell előtűnniük:

Holidays


Some basic proverbs


Riddles


Nincs is annál jobb, mint kipanaszkodni magunkat, ha nem úgy mennek a dolgok, ahogyan mi szeretnénk. Mindenki idézze fel micsoda megkönnyebbülés kiírni, kimondani magunkból, hogy már igencsak tele van a púpunk valakivel.

A dolgot viszont nehezítheti, ha mindezt például angolul szeretnénk megtenni, azonban nem rendelkezünk megfelelő szókinccsel és stilisztikai szofisztikáltsággal, hogy elégedetlenésgünknek minden részletre kitérően hangot tudjunk adni. (Diákoknak tanarakról és vica verza, hogy csak a közvetlen metodológiai hasznát említsük a dolognak :D - semi)

A probléma áthidalásához bátorkodnám ajánlani Scott Parkin automata panaszgenerátorát, mely egyszerű alapadatok megadása után segít elkészíteni a hőn vágyott panaszáradatot :)

Mintaként itt egy általam generált rövid panaszos levél, melynek tárgya a sötét nagyúr, Darth Vader (éppen ő jutott eszembe)